Thursday, February 14, 2008

Valentine's Day

Matt and I don't celebrate Valentine's Day. It isn't that we are opposed to the holiday, and it isn't that we are trying to be "green" about it (although I probably shouldn't tout that on my blog!). We haven't even actually talked about not celebrating. We just don't.

Not that is has always been that way. I'm sure we probably did something to celebrate when we were dating but nothing of extraordinary significance. Our first Valentine's Day as a married couple, I suggested to Matt that we not buy anything for each other. I made him a steak and mushrooms dinner (not a typical meal for me to cook), and then burst out in tears after dinner when I realized Matt hadn't done anything for me. He said, "But you said we weren't going to do anything for Valentine's Day!" to which I responded, "I said we weren't going to BUY anything for Valentine's Day, but you could still DO something for me." I wasn't really that upset, but I got an enormous heart-shaped box of chocolates the next day. Matt always says that despite his goof, it was a good deal. He got the chocolate 50% off.
I haven't received a Valentine's Day gift since*, and I don't need any. Today won't be any different. We'll say, "Happy Valentine's Day" in the morning with an extra smooch, but no flowers, no candy, no fancy dinner out. We don't really celebrate our anniversary either. Maybe we will go out to eat but nothing fancy or out of the ordinary. Matt did give me a piece of jewelry for our first anniversary. I think we both forgot our last anniversary until the following day!
I know people that would be horrified by our lack of "romance," but I don't need romantic settings and surface displays of romance from Matt to know that he loves me. I know on a daily basis when he fills my car with gas when it is snowing, when he patiently listens to my daydreams about having chickens, when he goes out for crackers and soup at 10pm when I am sick, when he takes the kids out in the evening giving me a break despite the fact that he has also just worked a very long day, when he lets me warm my frigid feet on his toasty legs at night in bed, and when he presses me for more when I tell him that "nothing is wrong." I don't need a special holiday with grand gestures to know that my husband loves me. I know true romance.
My hope for Valentine's Day is that everyone has the ability to realize the myths of advertising and consumerism aren't evidence of true love, not for environmental reasons, but so that they may break through that shell of commercial romance and realize the real thing.

So remember, true romance - the enduring kind - often comes so cleverly disguised it's easy to overlook. - Nadine Crenshaw
*Irony? Right after I finished this post, Matt surprised me with a little Valentine gift! LOL


Dawn said...

This was a very sweet post. I was thinking that if Matt reads this, you just gave him a very nice Valentines gift in your kind and thoughtful words about him.

Megan@SortaCrunchy said...

Me and you both, girl. I was going to post on this today, but now I don't need to. You said it all!

Penny said...

we're the same. We forgot our anniversary one year. ;) We don't celebrate Valentines and hardly ever do anything for Mothers/Fathers Day.

I did make a nice dinner - but it was no big deal. Plus the kids were there. I did put a candle on the table much to the interest of Tim.
"But WHY did you put a candle on?" ad nauseum...

If Rod bought me flowers I'd be suspicious! LOL!

erin said...

why do you want chickens? to eat? would you be able to wring the neck? or do you want eggs???? or do you just think they'd make fun pets?????
just curious!

Catherine said...

We don't do V Day, either. In fact, we generally don't do any of the Hallmark Holidays... like mother's day and father's day. Kitsch, cards and jewelry just don't do it for me. I'd MUCH rather have Allan warm my side of the bed and scrape the ice off my windshield for me. :)

The Cole Mine said...

We celebrated this year over two hospital cafeteria, heart shaped cookies - the true meaning of Valentine's Day is taking care of one another and that's what we did...
Sounds like you celebrate V-Day every day at your house - very nice post.